Tuesday, 9/13/2011 (Part I)

Bad Milk, Bad Tone, Bad Games & Bad Mistakes

Spoilt Milk

Daniel reaches for the water pitcher.

“You can have milk,” I tell him.

“But it… it’s hot.”

“Yeah. It’s really warm,” says Linn, nodding.

“You guys leave it out. You can drink it.”

“Ahhh! No fair!” Daniel turns to glare at Erica.

“Yeah, it’s always Erica,” says Erica

“You guys always leave it out,” says Daniel.

“Did I?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know if you noticed, but life is never fair,” says Maddie.

“I know,” says Daniel.

“You can drink it,” I say, growing tired of the drama. “Don’t leave it out. If you see it out, put it away.”

“It’s not fair,” says Daniel.

“Be thankful for the fair things,” says Maddie.

“Where’s your glass?” I ask Linn.

“I’m not thirsty.”

“Yes you are. You are now. Go get a glass.”

“I’m thirsty,” says Maddie, looking for her glass that’s missing from the table.

Mom pours Linn a glass of milk. She takes a drink and screws up her face.

“Oh, pe-yew!”

Daniel takes a drink.

“Dad, it’s sour,” but I have my poker face on. I don’t want to hear it anymore. Linn tries to corroborate his story and get sympathy from Mom.

“Mom, that’s sour.”

“I’m not drinking that,” says Daniel.

“Yeah you are,” I tell him.

“I’ll get diarrhea.”

“Yep,” I say.

“You probably will,” says Maddie. “You might start to feel dizzy.”

“Maybe even die,” I say.

“No, you’ll only have to get your stomach pumped,” says Maddie.

“You’ll start to grow udders,” I add.

“Why aren’t you drinking any?” Mom asks Maddie.

“Milk? I don’t want any right now.”

“Mom, if I drink this, can I go to bed?” says Linn.

“Sure.”

That was Easy

“Daaad?”

“Whaaat?”

“If blah blah blah blah, blah, blah blah blah?”

“What? You’re whining. I can’t hear you.”

“Just say no,” Mom says.

“No,” I say. I look at Mom. “That was easy.”

“I’m your easy button.”

“Mom.”

I answer, just to screw with her.

“What.”

Unfazed, she tries again.

“Mom, why do you control Dad? Mom? Why do you control Dad?”

“I don’t. This is…this never…”

“Then why did you just say ‘just say no?’”

“This is… this is a rare occasion. This never happens.”

“I’m not eating that,” Linn says, screwing up her face at the beef and noodles on her plate that, to her, must look like a giant mound of pig intestines and no less repulsive. “Ever.”

Physics, Phrats, and Phonetics

“I’m currently failing my physics homework even though it online,” says Maddie. “The questions are like… [waves hand to the left] The answers are like… [waves other hand to the right] A question will be here, and the answers will be on the next page on the other side… Unless you do six try’s. But after every try it takes off like, a point-and-a-half.”

Lin takes a drink of milk.

“That’s nasty,” she says

“You’re drinking it though,” I say

“Don’t talk about it again,” Mom says. “Eat your dinner.”

Linn belches. Hard.

“Where’d you learn that? At the frat part you went to last weekend?” says Mom.

“You went to a frat part?” says Maddie. “Stay away from those frat boys Lindsey.”

“What song… what are you playing tomorrow?” say Mom

“Vivaldi,” says Maddie.

“What one? The Four Seasons?”

“No, it’s not The Four Seasons. He likes The Four Seasons, I like The Splinter.”

“I don’t know how that goes…”

“It goes doot, doot doot, do-la-lu-da-doot, do-la-lu-da-doot, do-la-lu-lu-lu-doot…”

“Hmm… I like da-doot da-da-doot, doot, doot, do…”

“Da, doot, doot, doot, da, da, do…”

“It has a bad after-tone,” says Linn, referring to the milk.

I could say the same about the music…

*

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One response to “Tuesday, 9/13/2011 (Part I)

  1. great! i heard some people like to blog on the road too. It’s a useful time.

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