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Pick up my newly released book, sold on Amazon in both Kindle and paperback formats and wherever else the standards have been lowered. No refunds. You have been warned.

Pencils Make Good Darts *


Humorous and poignant, serious and funny (exactly what you get when a middle age man with the mind of a child less mature than his own children writes about life), Pencils Make Good Darts is a collection of short nonfiction essays that are well suited for reading on the toilet or before you go to bed and will either make you curse the author for wasting your time or laugh and cry like you are young again.

The critics are raving about Pencils Make Good Darts.


“A ‘must by’—and by that I mean you must pass it by”


“[Expletive deleted] gross. Contains one of the most disgusting stories I’ve ever read. Ever.”


“This book is an absurd waste of time. It makes the ESL technical writers who wrote the assembly instructions for my BBQ grill look like literary geniuses.”


“Keep writing; someday you may write something worth criticizing.”


“Put this book back on the shelf, preferably behind a good book, and spend your time and money on that root canal you’ve been putting off.”


“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”

For a limited time, I have a small number of paperback books that I will ship to you free of charge. Send an email to: and, in 100 words or less, tell me a story that will make me laugh out loud along with your name and address. A book and a bit of shipping are a small price to pay for a good laugh. Don’t you think?

If I laugh, I’ll send you one. If I send you one, I will reply back to you. If you don’t hear from me, the book is not in the mail, I didn’t laugh, or I’m just all out.



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